Done!

Once the May surgery was over and they pronounced me "cancer free," I became very neglectful of this blog. So hopefully there will be just this one more cancer (or non-cancer) update and then I can redevote myself to this blog-- writing updates about my quirky family and posting pictures of the cute people that live in my home (that includes my kids AND husband) :).

So here is the non-cancer update. I had my last reconstructive surgery on 12/2. Everything went fine. I feel fine. I have a dr. appt. on Mon. 12/13 and I expect he will tell me that I am fine. There are still things I need to follow up on--- seeing an oncologist about going on the anti-cancer drug, tamoxifen, getting a mammo in Jan. (every 6 mos. now)--- but I feel like this episode in my life is done. One year, six surgeries, and a lot of drama later.... I have my health, my family, my friends, the gospel... and my hair :)!

It's going to be a great Christmas.

Stupid Cancer.

Another graphic update. Sorry. Two weeks ago the surgeon told me that the cancer came within 1.5 milimeters of the small amount of breast tissue they left in. They left that TINY bit of breast tissue so they could save the nip. Well, guess the margin is too small for comfort. Last Thurs. I met with a multidisciplinary clinic and it was the unanimous opinion of the panel (another surgeon, the oncologist and the radiation oncologist) that the nip be removed. I have the option to do radiation instead, but they all felt that surgery would be the better choice. It was their opinion that doing radiation would make it very difficult for the plastic surgeon to match things up when it was over. So off to the plastic surgeon today to get his opinion on matters pertaining to my rack... what's left of it... :) I know it could be much, much worse (I'm still not going to die, chemo is still not necessary so I don't lose my hair), but still... Crap! (Sorry, mom.)

The surgery was 3 weeks ago today. It went just fine. I came home from the hospital the following day. I fell asleep on the way home, but as we were coming down our street, Michael slowed waaaaayyyyy down and said, "Look at that." I opened my eyes to see pink and white balloons all over the front yard with a love note banner on the garage door and for added humor, bras strung here and there. I just cried. What amazing friends and neighbors we have... I LOVE living here (even despite the horrific wind)! So this is what I saw when I opened my eyes...

Really, how great are the people in my neighborhood??!!

I came home with two drains in, one coming out from each side. Well. Drains are MISERABLE! Thankfully, they came out a week later. Now I am back to dealing with the fluid build-up. Ugh. It is just miserable, but I am trying to remind myself, that it is better than having the drains. Yep, nothing right now is worse than those drains. But the fluid build-up is standing in the way of my running. That does NOT make me happy. I had a dr.'s appt. this past Tues. and she told me to switch over to motrin and see if that helps. She also said that if I am active one day, the fluid problem will manifest itself the next day. Grrrrr. She said to see how this next week goes and maybe I can try the j word (jogging) on Monday.

The left side is healing great and the tissue they took from that side all came back non-cancerous. Yay. When the other side catches up, I'll be good to go! :)

Birthday fun......

I wasn't going to have my new boob surgery in time for my birthday, but my sweet visiting teacher and good friend, Kasey Lighten, made sure I got new boobs for my birthday anyway. Boob cupcakes are the best!!... especially when they're from Dippidee!!

The Big Day

This Thursday. Yep. Everything is set to go. Anxious for it to be over. Ready for this chapter to end. Looking forward to thinking about something else for a change. One of my favorite "Maxine" cards says, "If life gives you lemons.... (open card here) put them in your bra. Couldn't hurt; might help." Hahahaha... So I think that I am figuratively putting life's lemons in my bra this time... Hahahahahaha.. Man, I'm funny! :)

:)

So Michael and I met with Dr. Bindrup on Monday. I feel SO much better about things. So does Michael. This is going to be a bit graphic, so if you are male, you may want your wife/girlfriend/sister to read it first and then just relay the general content back to you.... :)

I have opted to go with an implant. With my size, the TRAM flap (skin/muscle/fat taken from a football-shaped graph that goes from hip to hip) wasn't a great option. I could have taken a flap from my butt, but it's a much longer surgery, a much longer hospital stay and a much longer recovery (translation: more time off of running). It just seems that with where I am in my life right now (two young children), the implant seems to be the best option. More importantly, Michael and I both feel really good about that decision.

Our really great news (brace yourselves!) came when he said that he thinks he can save the nipple. Yay! I had no idea how important my nipple was to me. This was really good news for both of us... :) (Sorry if I have crossed over the "way more information than we ever wanted to know" line.....) Soooooo... Dr. Hansen will remove all of the breast tissue and then Dr. Bindrup will put in a saline implant and stitch things up (complete with drains-- blech--that will stay in 4-7 days...) It is a skin-sparing mastectomy, so I will not need to worry about expanders at all. That was more good news. With the saline implant, they can inject fluid as needed until it is the right size. And once it's the right size, he will replace the saline with a silicone implant.

On the other side, he will remove some breast tissue (a slight reduction) and then do a lift. Yay, again! They will then biopsy the tissue they remove.

Dr. Bindrup said that one of his goals is symmetry. Excellent! He said that his other goal, is that in a year's time, this will just be some surgery I had in my life that I hardly think about anymore. Even more excellent. That is EXACTLY what I wanted to hear. Of course I still wish none of this was necessary, but because it is, I'm glad that both of my dr.'s seem to have been able to make the very best of a lousy situation.

Boob cancer update....

I had no idea how MUCH fluid could fit into the cavity he carved out of my boob. Ugh. I've never nursed, so I've never had milk come in so I don't know how it compares, but this fluid is no fun! My deformed boob is now bigger than the other one... They sent me home after the last surgery with the world's largest ace bandage wrapped around my chest like a mummy. They told me to leave it on for 5-7 days. I didn't know it was to keep the fluid out. I lasted 5 days with it before I couldn't stand it anymore. Well the fluid is worse than the chest strap, so it's back on today. My dr. (Dr. Hansen) said I could come in and he could drain it, but he said it would just fill up again. I told him I would call back if it became unbearable. Hopefully it will redistribute before I reach the unbearable level.

The big M surgery is scheduled for March 11. I was planning on doing it sooner, but the plastic surgeon is out of the country from 2/18-3/8. So my options were having it done next Thursday, Feb. 11, or waiting til March 11. There was no way I was going to be ready this next Thursday to have THAT done, so after checking with Dr. Hansen, who gave the okay to wait, I have scheduled it for March 11. Michael and I will meet with the plastic surgeon (Dr. Bindrup) on Feb. 15 to discuss my reconstruction. Boob rebuilding. I had never, ever thought I would be getting a boob job. Ever. I had no idea there were so many options and so many decisions to make...

Tangent: Thursday is Dr. Hansen's surgery day, so my surgeries are always on Thursdays. Except for Tuesday, Thursday is now my least favorite day of the week. Tuesdays are my least favorite day because Dr. Hansen always calls on Tuesdays to give me bad news, results of the previous Thursdays procedure. Someday I will like Tuesdays and Thursdays again and Monday will once again regain it's rightful place as my least favorite day of the week...

Happy Groundhog Day...

Margins were not clear. Looks like I'm getting new boobs for my birthday this year.

Just too much drama for me!

So yesterday's surgery was by far the worst so far. I should have known that because the surgeon told me that every time we do this, he doubles the amount of mass he removes. The surgery lasted much longer, they removed a lot of tissue and gave me demerol (sp?) to boot. (The demerol was horrible! I was dizzy til like 5 p.m. and the surgery was at 7:30 a.m.) And I'm really in the same boat as I was after the mri. I'll get the biopsy results Tues. If the margins are clear, they'll wait til I heal from surgery and then start radiation. (The only unknown on that front is that they removed so much yesterday that the cavity has filled with fluid. The surgeon said it will take a few weeks til that fluid is gone before they know how much is umm... missing? So there may need to be some sort of balancing act to do and I don't know what that will involve.) If the margins are not clear, then it's a masectomy. Really, this is just too much drama for me. I liked my quiet life...

I do have to say, though, that I feel like I have the very best family and friends in the entire world. The entire universe. The entire cosmos. I cannot believe how nice people have been and continue to be. Your thoughtfulness is overwhelming. Literally overwhelming. Notes, emails, cookies, dinner, bread, flowers, jokes, babysitting, thoughts and prayers. I don't know how I will ever be able to pay this all forward. But when I'm better, I'm sure going to try. Thank you all so, so much.

Good news and bad news

The good news: the mri did not show the cancer to be everywhere. Bad news: it really only showed the spot where they already knew it had been...so not sure if it's just showing post-surgery trauma and not picking up the cancer, or if that really is the only spot where the cancer is... So, more surgery this Thurs. (1/28). He'll take out another centimeter around the last spot and then---hopefully---- we'll get clear margins. I can tell this is good news because I'm not crying. :) Not excited for another of these surgeries, but it's better than the alternative. I don't know what will happen if the margins don't come back clear this next time... but I can guess. So here's hoping for clear margins!!

Grrrr....

No results today. The dr's office closed at 2. Rats.

Lousy health issue

So maybe I will start updating my blog again so I can put updates on here about my new health drama. So this is the story... had a mammogram in Nov., results were questionable, they sent me for another in Dec., and found a cluster of microcalcifications. For some reason I don't quite understand, because the area was so close to the skin, they did not want to do a traditional biopsy, opting instead to just remove the whole small section (about the size of a gumball.) They then biopsied that and the results were DCIS (ductal incarcimoma in situ)-- earliest, most treatable form of breast cancer. Barely breast cancer. Sometimes it's not even referred to as cancer, but just precancer. They didn't get clear margins when they took out the first section, so they went back in a week later, took some more out, thinking the margins would then be clear and I would start radiation in a month or so. But those plans were shot when the margins did not come back clear, but instead revealed more cancer areas. :( Rats. So yesterday I went for an mri and that brings us to today. I am waiting for the phone to ring to let me know the results of the mri. The cancer areas they found in the second surgery did not show up on the mammogram, so hopefully they will show up on the mri and then they/we can make a new plan. Hopefully I get results today. Cause if I don't get them today, I won't hear anything til Tues. (Surgeon isn't in on Mondays.) So, best case scenario: more surgery and then radiation. Worst case scenario: masectomy. Important things to know: survival rate for this type of precancer/ cancer is 100%. I'm not going to die. Also, the cancer is completely contained in my boob. It has not spread to any other part of my body. Okay. And that would be all for now. Ho hum....